Life Lessons from Grandpa Chet

Marie’s dad, Chester Reinke, left a rich legacy of life lessons. His examples will live forever in my mind.

Duty

When his divorced mother contracted tuberculosis and was no longer able to care for Chet and his two sisters (one older, one younger), she had to send them to an orphanage more than 50 miles from their home in Chicago. Life in the orphanage during the Great Depression was rough. So much so that Chet even saw kids dying. To make his life worse, with one parent still living, he was mercilessly teased as merely a half-orphan.

By the time he was 15, Chet realized he had to get out of there. He managed to find his way back to Chicago where he sought a job. He bought a homburg hat to make himself look older … and found work on the docks. He then saved enough to get both his sisters out of the orphanage.

Persistence

Fast forward to 1940, Chet met Hazel Gilso at a dance … and knew she was the one. They headed to the Quad Cities to get married, but Hazel got cold feet and they returned unmarried. A short time later, they headed out again … and again returned unwed. The third time was the charm. Their marriage lasted until Hazel passed in 1988.

Hazel and Chet were separated only for the years he served as an MP in the Philippines during World War II. As did many returning vets, Chet struggled when he returned. Throughout his challenging reentry, Hazel was always proud of him. Ultimately Chet landed a job selling advertising specialties – the calendars, pens, etc. companies give away to increase brand awareness.

Drive

Hazel was so proud of his success, she couldn’t help bragging to patrons where she worked as a waitress. She so impressed one of her favorites, Charley Hausmann, that he asked if he could meet Chet. They met and talked at length about the ad specialty business. Charley, realizing just what Chet was made of, invested enough for Chet to launch his own business. Chet was imaginative, winning and determined. The business prospered and he and his family never suffered financial worry again. And he, Charley, and their families became lifelong friends.

Humor

Though careful with his hard-earned money, Chet did like to drive a nice car. When Marie was in her teens, he had a convertible. A favorite Sunday afternoon outing was a drive in the country – no destination in mind – just out of the city. On one occasion, with the top down, Chet, Hazel, and Marie were about to drive away when a bird flew over and successfully targeted Chet’s head. The girls burst out laughing. I know that I’d have been in a rage by then. Not Chet. He calmly turned to the girls and deadpanned, “For some the birds sing.” They lost it. 

Family

As long as I can remember, Chet and Hazel (then just Chet after Hazel left us) stopped by every Saturday morning for coffee and … The “and” always came from a bakery in their neighborhood and was mouth-watering delicious. 

When an hour had passed, no matter how much fun we were having, they’d pick up their coats and head home … leaving us wanting more. One exception: In the years after Hazel had passed, if we could entice Chet to the pool table in the basement he’d lose all track of time.

Discipline

At age 68, Chet had serious heart problems. His doctor warned him to quit smoking. After 55 years of nicotine addiction, Chet simply said OK … and quit cold turkey. 

How to live

Quitting smoking wasn’t enough. Cigarettes had take their toll and Chet had to have heart bypass surgery. In 1984, this novel procedure took more than six hours and he was hospitalized for a total of eight weeks. We were warned that coming out of surgery he would look like death warmed over. I’m so glad they warned us – he didn’t even look warmed over. But he recovered as predicted.

In 1997, Chet was feeling poor and listless. Although he never complained, this was enough for him to pay the doctor a visit. After running tests, he was diagnosed with leukemia. When I was in high school, leukemia was a death sentence. 50 years later a cure was a possibility – in his case with odds better than 50/50. Untreated he couldn’t expect to last a year.

Chet chose the cure. But the process was arduous. He was hospitalized for a month. First chemotherapy to completely destroy his immune system. Then build it back up. And they did. And it worked – the leukemia was cured.

Regrettably, while recovering, Chet suffered a stroke. Not one to give up, he spent the next eight months faithfully enduring demanding therapy. Ultimately he had his own apartment in an assisted living facility where some meals were provided and nursing care was available on call. By June he was able to attend grandson Jeff’s high school graduation. Brought tears to all our eyes.

Practical

Shortly after Jeff’s graduation, Chet again complained about pain. The doctor ran some tests and concluded that it was lung cancer. He then prescribed some further tests. Chet wanted to know the purpose of the additional tests. The doc explained that they would confirm the diagnosis. Chet asked what would we do with that information. The doc said nothing would change, but there’d be no doubt about the diagnosis. Chet said nuts. He wasn’t about to suffer meaningless tests just so the doctor could “be sure.”

Treatment was a possibility. Without it, Chet could expect to live another six to twelve months. If successful, the treatment might extend that time to one or two years … with no guarantee that he wouldn’t have another stroke.

Final life lesson

Chet’s response was classic, “I’ll just play out this hand.” And he did. Hospice care minimized his pain for the remaining thirty days. In his final days, Chester Reinke showed us how to die.

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